I can’t wait to leave my town. I can’t wait to leave this all behind and start completly new. In one and a half year I’m hopefully going to move in a big city. I want to go to university. My family doesn’t think I’m capable to do this. I already talked about my shyness. Didn’t I? They don’t think I’ll make it. I don’t care. I just want to see something different. I want to meet new people and do something on my own. There were always people around me telling me what to do. I just want to jump out of this hicksville. It feels like I have to do this or I will end up sitting in the apartment of my parents for the rest of my life. I need to see the world. I planned to travel the world after finishing school. That won’t happen. But I need to leave this place for some years. So going to universitiy is the only escape.
I just want my life to be at least a bit more exciting. I’m sitting in this little village waiting for something to happen. But usually there’s nothing to happen. Nothing.

Isn’t it funny that nearly everything is falling apart because of irrelevant things?

I went on a journey with some people. I had a red big bag with golden shoes in it. I got the shoes because my old ones were stolen a few weeks ago. We were in a train and suddendly I realized that my shoes are gone. So I ran through the train searching for them. There were thousands of red bags looking exact the same like mine. So I opened up all of them searching for my shoes. I turned crazy. People looked at me and became pretty angry because I didn’t even ask if I’m allowed to search in their suitcases. Well, I didn’t find them. I was pretty disappointed.
This one is actually pretty close to reality. Some weeks ago my jacket was stolen on a party. It was damn cold. So I had to go to the train while freezing my tail off. On the train I searched for people wearing my jacket. But guess what? No one did.

Damn. My blog slowly turns into a ‘dreamblog’.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time.
But I doesn’t make sense at all. When I look back I see me being happy without any reason. But I guess we just remember the good things of our past. My life really sucked when I was younger. I wasn’t able to really talk because I was way too shy to open my mouth. I even had to go to a group of kids to improve my shyness. They all were so weird and I really didn’t want to talk to any of them. My mom brought me there once a week. The pushed me into the room and I always stood next to the door waiting for it to end. There was always a guy sitting on the table trying to handle the few weird kids. One was always drawing and the other ones played on their own. He always tried to make me playing with the other ones but I did not even move. One day I’ll realized that these ‘meetings’ may never end if I won’t do anything. So I played with one kid and then I never had to go there anymore.
Some people say I was that shy because we moved. I just didn’t know anyone in our new little village. There was only one boy at my age but he was kinda weird. He was eating spiders and stones all the time. I didn’t really like him. So there were no people I could be friends with. Well, that changed. But I guess that’s another story, another boring one.
Well, looking back on better days is useless. Either they were simply amazing or they sucked. But one thing we all have in common, we can never go back.

The last few weeks were the most tiring ones of my life. School became more important than ever and requiered my whole freetime. I was not happy because I always focused on negative things, fights with friends and family or bad marks. The list goes on and on. But today I realized that I concentrated on futile things all the time. My life is simply amazing. I have friends being the best I could wish for. My family is awesome in every single way. Where they are, there’s my home. School isn’t fun all the time but I got to know new people I may have never known and most of them are funny and nice. Some of them even accept my foolery. I also can’t complain about my living conditions. There are millions of people having bigger problems.

To make the point, I’m blessed.

Things I want to do before dying.

• bungee jumping
• skydiving
• travel the world
• go to concerts of my favorite bands
• live my life to the fullest
• find the special girl
• have billions of paroxysm of laughter
• be happy
• have a VW bus
• survive
• have more embarrassing moments
• …

I guess there are more things to add I can’t think of right now. So I’ll finish this one one day. Why not public an incomplete post?

That’s it. That’s my life. Wanna write something down?

My life is boring. Isn’t there anyone to take me away?

Well, last night I dreamt again.

Some friends and me were back in Italy (Last year we were in Italy for a week.) because our hotel decided to let us stay a week for free. Yeah, does not really make sense. But we weren’t the exact same group of last year’s vacation. So we talked about the ones missing and realized I forgot to invite them. Haha. Well. We went into the hotel and it looked totally different. E.g. the rooms didn’t have numbers anymore, they just had animals saying which room will be our’s. We didn’t really get it. Later a friend and me went into a little shop looking for clothes or something. Another one waited outside. Well, I don’t really remember. But then it became strange. There was a guy looking at us. At first I thought he’s just curious but some mintues later I realized that he was kind of evil. I don’t know why but I somehow knew he wanted to kill us. Funny right? Well he never really came near to us or even entered the shop because there were so many people. But he observed us. Then he was kissing the friend waiting outside and she really liked it. So I went there and pushed him away saying to the friend he’s trying to kill me and I don’t want her to be with my future murderer. So I went back into the shop but she was all gone. I told some people that he’s following us and they also realized that there is something wrong with this dude. Well suddendly it wasn’t just one guy. At first there were two, then three, four, five. Well, in the end there was an army of evil people looking all pretty much the same. The shop we were in closed the doors and all the bad people were outside. The friend being inside the shop all the time and me were looking at eachother knowing we’ll die. I said something like ‘We’ll make it.’ without really believing it. Then the army ran to the shop and broke through the doors. I fought like a kung fu master. (Oh I love my dreams.) My friend was out of sight because there were way too many people trying to kill me.
I woke up.